Jeeves and the Spring Clean
Creative writing prompt
You’re going to assume the role of a fictional character’s manager and write their end-of-year performance review.
You can choose any format or style you like, but you will need to consider what the character has achieved (the ‘what’) and how they went about achieving it (the ‘how’).
You can even take it a step further and write your review in the style of the original author or story, if that tickles your fancy.
Jeeves and the Spring Clean
The idea of it came into my head one fine morning, when proud-pied April was dress'd in all his trim, if trim is the word I want. The merry old birds were really giving it their all in the treetops and I’d just sank back onto the cushion after polishing off a plate of eggs and b that would’ve made a starving hyena plead for a reprieve from the old knife and fork. Spring was in the air, and, dash it, if it wasn’t topping up the old soul with an esprit de coeur I haven’t known since boyhood.
Makes one think of Tolstoy, or one of those other frightfully brainy coves. “Spring is the time for plans and projects” or whatever it was. Though what Tolstoy had to feel so zippy about, planning another novel full of starving Russian peasants and drowning infants in reservoirs, I cannot say.
But I tell you, I was full of vim and it was in this spirit of renewal that I bounded into Jeeves’ lair.
“Jeeves.”
“Sir?”
“Are you busy just now?”
“No, sir.”
“There’s no little task you’re performing for the young master at present?”
“No, sir. It is my practice at this hour to read some improving book; but if you desire my services, this can be easily postponed, or indeed, abandoned altogether.”
“Well, I want to speak with you on a matter of some import.”
“Indeed, sir?”
“Indeed yes, Jeeves. Has it by any chance escaped your notice that spring is here at last?”
“It has not, sir.”
“And I believe it is at this time customary for a little cleaning about the old homestead? Putting things in order and generally sprucing up the place?”
“I understand the practice is commonplace to even the best of households, sir. The poet Shelley, sir…”
“Never mind the poet Shelley, Jeeves. He has no bearing on what I wish to discuss”
“Very good, sir.”
“Now touching on the matter at hand, Jeeves. It has occurred to me that the time for a little ‘spring cleaning’ of our own is at hand.”
“Sir?”
“Bingo Little tells me he regularly sits down and gives his man a thorough appraisal and the thought occurred to me it was high time I did the same.”
“Indeed, sir. Since his marriage to Mrs Little, sir, Mr Little is increasingly given to such ideas.”
“I know precisely what you mean by that remark, Jeeves, so let us strike it from the record.”
“Yes, sir.”
“This is exactly why I’m so keen to have this tete a tete. This dashed impudence has got to stop. If you aren’t offering your rummy opinions on my friends and relations, you’re passing judgements on my sartorial choices. Since December alone I have disposed of six perfectly fine silk shirts, three checked suits and a frankly rakish Alpine Hat, under your scornful gaze. We shall not even mention the moustache incident.”
“As you wish, sir”
“I refuse to be one of these fellows who are absolute slaves to their valets.”
“Nothing could be further from my wishes, sir.”
~
“You know, Jeeves, you’re by way of being rather a topper.”
“I endeavour to give satisfaction, sir.”
“You stand alone!”
“It is very kind of you to say so, sir.”
“Well, that’s about all, then, I think.”
“Very good, sir.”
“Tinkety-tonk.”